I was feeling kinda queasy all week and just had a strange feeling. Our daughter was only 6 months old and her birth was difficult. I delivered her unexpectedly, 4 weeks early with preeclampsia. There were some other complications but at the end of it all God brought us through. I was a Mom! My daughter spent a week in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit), and at last we were finally home. I was enjoying motherhood, finally starting to find a groove,(though it was way harder than I thought it would be) and I just kept thinking, how could this happen.
My husband and I were careful. Using protection. But I knew deep down… So off I went to the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test. Ugh I wasn’t ready, I couldn’t even bring myself to use it that day. I can’t be pregnant again already! I’m not ready, my daughter is still a baby! Finally, the next morning, I took the test and sure enough the little pink plus sign showed up almost immediately. All I could do was cry. I woke up my husband and showed him. Being awesome as always, he said why are you crying this is great news, we’re gonna have another baby! And I know some of you are thinking “wow, she’s being a bit dramatic” but trust me when I tell you I was not ready. But God had a plan.
Now 6 years later I can confidently tell you that God knew all along. God chose my son to be born exactly when he was. It wasn’t an accident. And Neither is your child. I don’t care how unexpected their arrival was or how unprepared you were. God knew. Stop blaming yourself or your spouse or whoever, and start trusting that God has a plan for that child. They were born at the exact time they needed to be to fulfill the plan of God for their lives. And it didn’t change the fact that God still has a plan for you too!
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord , thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” -Jeremiah 29:11
Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself!
The sooner you can stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop questioning why this happened, the sooner you will begin to see the bigger picture and the plan God has for you and your baby. God chose you mama. You are the mother they need. You can handle this with Jesus. Call upon him when you feel that doubt creep in. Speak to those thoughts and answer them with the Word of God.
I spent far too long thinking I couldn’t handle it, thinking I can barely take care of one baby how will I take care of two, feeling like a failure, constantly overwhelmed, comparing myself to Pinterest mom.
Now I know when those thoughts try to come, and they will try, I answer them with God’s word. When I start to think I can’t handle this, I speak out loud “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13
When I start to think I am failing at this mom thing, I speak out “the Lord makes my steps firm, though I may stumble, I will not fall because the Lord upholds me with his hand.” Psalm 37:23-24
When I start to compare myself to other mom’s, I speak out “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:14
You are exactly who your children need. And Maybe that looks a little different than every stereotypical mom. Embrace it and ask God to help you along the way. In this age of social media with everyone posting their best moments, it’s easy to feel like you don’t measure up. Trust me every single mom has at one point or another felt like a failure. The Key is not to believe that lie!