Hey guys! This is the first post in my new series, Conquering Addiction: God’s Plan for True Recovery. Addiction is an epidemic. It is sweeping across this nation, taking many lives, and ruining the many others surrounding it. I am writing this so that you can see that my husband and I have been there, we know what you are going through even if you think we don’t. I want to share God’s hope and love to encourage you to get through this.
My husband (Jordan) was an addict for several years up until June 20, 2017 when he entered in a program called Teen Challenge. This program is centered on Jesus and teaching people to fight addiction with God’s word. They give you structure, hard work, love, and dedication to help you learn to do this. You CAN do this.
From the Beginning
From the start my husband and I have had a crazy life. We met in April of 2008 when we were 12 years old. We started dating May 1, 2008 and at 14 years old we had our first son. We were babies having a baby. We were then together for about four years until we parted ways.
In April of 2015, Jordan and I got back together. I was in a pretty serious relationship at that time and although I cared for him, I knew he wasn’t the one. It was always Jordan. Jordan was also in another relationship, but it was toxic for both of them so when they broke up, I left my boyfriend and Jordan and I got back together. He was the love of my life and I always knew that in my heart.
When we got back together, I knew next to nothing about addiction, drugs, heroine, or any of it. He did tell me that he had a problem with Percocet but that he was stopping. I believed it was that simple. He told me that he would do anything to be with me again and I truly had believed that. I truly thought that I could help change him. That was one of MY problems. I had to realize that I couldn’t change him.
Only God Could
I was so naïve. Even though he told me that he had a little problem with it, I honestly just thought it was a party phase. I knew that he had struggled with being a dad. He never really was there for our son. He was immature and I thought that if I could just push him a little harder that he would be better. He made me believe that too. He was always good with words.
When we got back together, we decided to get married. We would’ve gotten married right at the town hall, but I did want it to be special, so we set our date for July 11, 2015. We were both excited to finally be together again. Shortly after we were back together, I also became pregnant. Now we were getting married in two months with another baby on the way.
Slowly his addiction started to rear its ugly head.
He would leave to be with friends. At first it was just while I was working but then he started being gone more and more. He started asking for money all the time, then the asking became begging, and the begging became stealing. From me, his parents, his sisters, his son. He came up with every excuse in the book. I believed every excuse in the book. Well I didn’t truly believe them, but I wanted to believe in him. I wanted to believe that he wouldn’t treat me that way.
There were many times that I thought maybe we shouldn’t get married. At times I wanted to call it off, but I just couldn’t. I loved him so much. I know that it was probably the best thing we did even though for others it may not seem that way. I know if we hadn’t of gotten married I most likely would have walked away and never looked back at him.
We all had so much to learn in this process: me, his parents, my mom, all of us. I had just started really going back to church so I didn’t know much about fighting this battle. I am so thankful for our Pastors who guided us and taught us. One thing that I think is so important to focus on in this battle is that we are not fighting the person. This is a demon of addiction and we have to fight this spiritually, we have to let God fight this spiritually. No, I am not saying they are possessed but there IS a demon harassing them. This was a very hard concept for me to grasp but once I started focusing and understanding this, things became clearer.
“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” Ephesians 6:12
This is just a little introduction of our testimony. Keep watching for my next posts. I want to keep sharing our testimony with you and helping you through this process. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need help or prayer.